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All the latest news on your favourite team.
 

TRACTOR UNABLE TO PLOUGH OUT FIRST RESULT

October 18th 2004

 

A disappointing start to Tractor’s reign in a 2-2 draw with Phil N-B’s Tractor Boys.

Johnnie for scored both and to Mossy expertly set them both up.

 

A furious James Purnell said afterwards, “To ignore the outright failure to win against an otherwise useless opposition perpetuates the cloud of dishonesty which loitered over both teams.
We both should have had penalties - and the score should have been 10-2 to the Vipers. I blame the absent gaffer (Sven).

 

Team:

Olly Battersby; Henry Moss, Tris Hanson, James Purnell, Christian Kenny, Ed Knight, Alex Clayton, Josh Wilkins, Alex Baily, Dave de Maupeou, Tractor & Olly Fetiveau.

 

NEW GAFFER APPOINTED

September 30th 2004

 

Vipers FC Chairman, Simon Cadbramovich, today appointed Ed ‘Tractor’ Tremayne as player-manager. Ed will resume all responsibilities with immediate effect.

 

VIPERS 2 STRAGGLERS 5

September 26th 2004

 

It was the ending we all wanted. On his last game in charge, before moving to Sydney, the Vipers succumbed to their first ever defeat to bitter rivals, the Stragglers.

 

Admittedly a number of the Stragglers goals were disputable and probably offside but this wasn’t an excuse for a Vipers side found wanting. The usually so effective Josh Wilkins was found wanting in the middle of the park and clearly not fit.

 

Both Vipers goals were strikes from Christian Kenny. The second a run onto a long range pass from the Gaffer.

 

To add to the Gaffer’s misery he limped off with 5 minutes to go with a dead leg and will require phsyio.

 

 

SHOCK NEWS: GAFFER DEPARTS COMPANY WITH VIPERS

Chairman describes split as “amicable”

September 22nd 2004

 

Almost in tears, Sven Goram Cadbury, today announced that, after 8 years at the helm, he was leaving Vipers FC. He told reporters that he had been offered a chance to take up a lucrative role in setting up a Sydney based football team - the Viperoos. The Viperoos will be taking part in a lucrative new soccer league in Australia. Sven overcame competition from Terry Venables for the post.

 

Sven’s contribution to the Vipers has been massive. In his eight years he has led the team on numerous triumphs both home and abroad. The pinnacle of his career came in 2002 when in back to back games, the Vipers thrashed Arthurs Feet, Inter Pun, the Stragglers and Real B.

 

Vipers Chairman, Simon Cadbramovich, described the split as “amicable”. He said that they were gutted to be losing such a leader but even the Vipers cannot stand in the way of such a loyal servant. He added that the hunt for a successor would start immediately.


Sven will take charge of the Vipers for his last game on Sunday.

 

PRESS CONFERENCE TODAY

September 21st 2004

 

Vipers FC will be holding a press conference today at 4pm to make a statement on personnel changes at Vipers FC. Full details will be available on this website from 5pm.

 

 

VAN WEZEL RETURNS

September 6th 2004

 

Following a bust up with PSV boss,  

 

GAFFER TIES THE KNOT

August 7th 2004

 

In a star studded ceremony, Vipers Manager, Sven Goram Cadbury today finally wedded long term girlfriend Nancy De-OJio. The location of the wedding was meant to be a secret but a swarm of photographers found outside Nancy’s parental home in Shropshire meant that the press had second guessed the location.

 

Nancy, wearing a stunning Purple wedding dress, looked ravishing next to Sven in a Giorgio Armani White suit. Full details of the wedding should be in next week’s Hello magazine.

 


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